Party Elephant

Something terrible happened while preparing for your party.

The whole deal is that this elephant comes to the party and throws down big time, making it the best party on the block. And you know what? It would have been the best party on the block because have you ever partied with an elephant?? Yeah I thought so. An elephant never forgets…to have a badass time.

So I call this guy and schedule one party elephant for you and Jessi and rent out the Parthenon for Friday afternoon. I have soda, pizza and a battleship tournament all ready for us to enjoy. Around that time the elephant makes his way to my tent. As he staggers up to me I can smell the bourbon on his breath.

“I’z thiz teh party????” slurred the party elephant

“Umm…yeah man this is the place. You can set up over there.” I say while pointing to the Parthenon

So he slowly makes his way over there and I approach his agent and ask him if the elephant is ok to party. The agent responds…

“Hey! Cory is a professional! You hear me?? That elephant was partying before you had your first sip of mountain dew code red! Anything that isn’t relevant to party elephants is irelephant!”

So at this point I feel slightly better and walk over to the boombox to get some jams slamming as guests are arriving. I spot an old copy of AC/DC’s “Back In Black” and throw it in. Not two chords into the song I hear a heart stopping scream…

“No!!!!!! Not AC/DC! That’s too much party!!!!!”

Before I can say a word I feel a concussive force that almost knocks me on my feet and a deafening exposition. I look over to what was once the great Parthenon but all that remains is a fiery ruin of granite and pizza bits.

I managed to take a picture.

It was both terrifying and awe-inspiring.

Happy Birthday!!